Aloah Burke Kincaid

Surrounded by her husband, family and closest friends, Aloah Burke Kincaid joined her God and her beloved son, Michael on June 24, 2016. She was 79 years young. A memorial service celebrating her life will be held at Boston Avenue Methodist Church at 3:00 pm on Thursday, June 30, 2016. Aloah is survived by her husband, James L. Kincaid, Sr., her children and their spouses: Kathryn B. Kincaid and her spouse, Michael A. Lainoff of Washington, DC; James L. Kincaid, Jr and his spouse Danica of Tulsa, OK; J. Robert Kincaid and his spouse Natalie of Wilmette, IL and Aloah’s beloved grandchildren: Lillie O. Lainoff, Charles J. Lainoff, Kathryn E. Kincaid, Lena G. Kincaid, Ava R. Kincaid, Liya L.O. Kincaid, Robert M. Kincaid and William J. Kincaid. She is also survived by her brother Robert L. Burke and his spouse, Anna of Tulsa, OK and their children. Aloah would prefer in lieu of flowers that memorial contributions be made to The Booker T. Washington High School Foundation for Excellence. Aloah was born on July 25, 1936, to Michael Louis Burke and Lena Mae Owens Burke in Kansas City, MO. Her early childhood was marred by a tragic fire, which destroyed her parents’ dairy, and the subsequent death of her father. Her mother, who had no education beyond sixth grade and no work skills or experience, was left a widow with two children under five years of age. Relatives helped care for the two children during the summers while her mother learned to operate a comptometer and became an office worker. That job supported the family, but just barely—“equal pay for equal work” was not even a slogan and fringe benefits were nonexistent. At just eight years old, Aloah’s responsibilities included taking care of her younger brother, Robert, keeping house, doing the laundry and cooking for the family. Aloah wore hand-me-downs and ultimately learned to operate a sewing machine, to provide clothes for herself. During those days, while other girls wore blouses to school, she wore plain white cotton t-shirts. She vowed then that no girl of hers would ever have to endure such embarrassment. Many years later, she greeted the grunge fashions with sardonic wit. She and her brother still vividly recall counting stars at bedtime through holes in the roof of their small house. These years of poverty were to shape and mold her later life and fix her with a fierce determination. Fortunately, her mother realized that escape was possible only if her children could obtain a college education, and she was relentless in urging them to pursue that goal. In the sixth grade, Aloah met Jim Kincaid, a skinny little boy, not beset with the same desperate degree of poverty, but who, nonetheless, shared the same burning desire to get out of North Kansas City. Thus began the romance that would last their entire lives. They became debate partners at North Kansas City High School and were very successful competitive public speakers. Driven by her mother and encouraged by her partner, Aloah obtained a full scholarship to William Jewell College in Liberty, MO. She continued her competitive debating and public speaking and became a national oratory champion. She graduated with honors in 1958 and was married that same year to her childhood sweetheart. They would have celebrated 58 years of marriage on August 23rd of this year. In 1961, Aloah and Jim came to Tulsa, OK, where Jim began the practice of law, and Aloah began a lifetime of advocacy for the poor, the underserved, the disadvantaged, the young, and all minorities, but especially poor working women. She started by working with the Children’s Day Nursery and was a part of a group of parents who formed the Undercroft Montessori School. She was very active in the formation and success of Crosstown Learning Center, which focuses on providing affordable daycare for underserved working women. Since she could not, in those days, contribute monetarily, she sewed curtains, painted classrooms, cleaned facilities and landscaped. She was indefatigable. No potential donors were spared and she quickly developed a reputation for being able to raise large sums of money for her causes via persistence and persuasive ability. Many prospective donors also became her life-long friends. One noted Tulsa philanthropist remarked that: “it was easier to just give Aloah what she wanted than resist.” During all this, her family grew: Kathryn was born in 1962, Jimmy in 1964, Bobby in 1969 and Mike in 1974. She was a fierce advocate for her children and a Tiger Mother 50 years before Amy Chua. She placed each child in combinations of public and private schools and monitored their progress daily. In the process, she became an advocate for good, well-financed education for all children. Aloah lobbied for better pay for teachers, better facilities for schools and more effective administrations. She became a daily visitor to the halls of schools and was on a first name basis with most teachers, principals, school board members and a succession of superintendents. As high school neared for her children, she became an instrumental force in the transition of Booker T. Washington as a magnet school and the development of its competitive speech program into one of the best in the nation. Aloah joined the Board of David L. Boren’s Oklahoma Foundation for Excellence and formed the BTW Foundation for Excellence. She roamed the halls and “counseled” the teachers and administrators. Three of her children became state champions in oratory, extemporaneous speaking and debate, while the fourth became a noted scholar in advanced Chinese. She was most proud of the degrees from The Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern and The University of London. Two of her boys graduated with honors from Harvard and one from Vanderbilt. All became successful business people and legitimate targets for her continued drive for charitable contributions. During this time she turned her talents to politics. As one might imagine, she was a dyed in the wool Democrat. An early supporter of James R. Jones, she first became a tireless worker and leader of his volunteers, and then his campaign manager, resulting in his five terms as a U.S. Congressman from the First Congressional District of Oklahoma. With that experience and the valuable contacts it provided, Aloah turned to political consulting. She worked with a number of candidates and supported important state questions, which when approved provided educational funding. “Got a problem? Call ‘Miss Aloah’.” She never hesitated to pick up the phone and call a teacher, principal, superintendent, city official, mayor, state legislator, Governor, Congressperson, Senator, or University President. Aloah knew how the system worked and she used that knowledge to help anyone and everyone who needed it. She was a force of nature, never took “No” for an answer, and never left a friend without help. Aloah was a person of the world with a never-ending thirst for travel and discovery. She formed close friendships with people in every country she visited. Later in life, Aloah became extremely interested in the decorative arts, spending many summers honing her skills at prestigious universities across the United Kingdom. Her knowledge of ceramics, both British and Chinese, was impressive. All of this may explain why she had legions of very close and very loyal friends, from all walks of life. She treated everyone equally because she truly believed all of us are equal. She even treated Republicans and Democrats equally (though she may have thought Democrats were more equal). Many have asked when receiving the news of her death, “What can we do?” Aloah would have answered: “VOTE.” Vote in the upcoming election and all to follow. Never, ever fail to vote. We will miss her deeply. FITZGERALD IVY CHAPEL, 918-585-1151

Aloah Burke Kincaid

July 25, 1936 - June 24, 2016