James Lewis Kincaid joined his god, his beloved wife Aloah and his son Michael Burke on October 15, 2026, he was 90 years old.

He had a remarkable life-one he worked extremely hard for and was immensely proud of.

He was born in Carthage, Missouri, on October 3, 1936 to Kathryn Stein Kincaid, a homemaker and Joseph Lewis Kincaid, a Burlington Railroad superintendent. He is survived by three of his four children and their spouses: Kathryn B. Kincaid and her spouse, Michael A. Lainoff; James L. Kincaid, Jr. and his spouse Danica; J. Robert Kincaid and his spouse Natalie M.; and Jim and Aloah's beloved grandchildren: Lillie O. Lainoff, Charles J. Lainoff, Kathryn E. Kincaid, Lena G. Kincaid, Ava R. Kincaid, Liya L. O. Kincaid, Robert M. Kincaid, William J. Kincaid. He was the eldest of five children and is survived by his brother Robert and his sister Aloah (fondly named after our mother).

Jim was the first male Kincaid in the family to attend college. "My family was part of the working poor-we never missed a meal, but I remember mother trying hard to figure out how to pay the bills."

Jim learned to read before kindergarten and was a favorite of his schools' and city's librarians. He read all the time. The library was his favorite place. He won every summer reading competition. He would check out the book limit-once the librarians realized he was finishing books in a single day, he was granted an unlimited number of books. "They knew I was smart and I was endeared to them. I was however hated by most of my classmates. I was bullied and had an acute awareness of bullying." He was a fast runner and knew every alternative route home.

In fifth grade, Dad met the love of his life, Aloah Ann Burke. Dad's family was not as poor as Mom's, but they shared a fierce determination to get out of poverty, and they both knew the only way to achieve that was through an education. They became debate partners at North Kansas City High School, and both achieved great success in public speaking. They were married nearly 58 years.

When his high school history teacher/football coach saw that Dad was being bullied by classmates, he made Jimmy the football statistician. The bullying stopped-the football team made sure of it.

He joined the debate and speech team and was National Forensic League Student Congress Champion his senior year-those skills would become the backbone of his career as a successful litigator.

Dad knew he needed to work to help out his family, so he joined our grandfather in high school at the rail yard, fibbing about his age. He was responsible for putting destination cards on the sides of the boxcars. Later during college and law school, he loaded boxcars in hot warehouses. Dad was a genius at spatial relations-that came in handy with the boxcars. He was half the size of his fellow loaders who often teased him: "Don't put anything down until you know where you're putting it!" Not surprisingly, he worked with immigrants and minorities at the yard and their stories and lives made an indelible impression on him and influenced his politics and perspective.

Dad taught himself to play golf in high school and lettered in golf. He worked at the local country club cleaning clubs and push carts. It became a life-long passion for him. He was very proud of and took delight in being a member of Southern Hills Country Club for over 50 years. He loved having his own foursome with his three sons. Michael, Robert and Jim Jr. continue to play at Southern Hills.

Dad attributed his high school speech success as pivotal for his admission to Harvard, Yale, Princeton & Washington University. After forming the Harvard Debate Council, he and his partner finished second at the National Debate Tournament. In law school he coached another famous team, Lawrence Tribe and Gene Clements, to their national championship. For his college work study scholarship, he was required to clean the toilets of his fellow classmates. On later reflection, he believed this put him at a great disadvantage with the prep school boys at Winthrop House.

Jim and Aloah moved to Tulsa straight after law school in 1961, where she continued teaching English and speech and he began a storied litigation career at Huffman Arrington. In the early 1970s he joined Conner & Winters, where he further honed his craft as a litigator and built his reputation in complex commercial litigation. In 1989 he opened the Tulsa office of Oklahoma City law firm, Crowe & Dunlevy, as partner and later as counsel there, until his retirement in 2016. He absolutely loved practicing law-discussing it with his grandkids and relished being in court. He was known for his expert brief writing and his whip smart arguments and presentation skills in court. His secretary, Pat Bickel, was there for almost his entire career and he likened her support and expertise with his own.

Dad's practice was primarily focused in the area of complex commercial litigation and arbitration. He was the Oklahoma representative on the 10th Circuit Advisory Committee from 1994 to 1997. He was chair of the U.S. Magistrate Selection Committee for the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Oklahoma in 1993 and 1994, and a member of the Federal Judicial Advisory Committee in 1997.

As the kids grew, we were all required to participate in debate and speech. Both Mom and Dad regularly attended our competitions (often as back seat coaches) throughout Oklahoma and the country. When Dad traveled for work, he did his best to get back for speech tournaments, ice hockey and figure skating competitions. His sons' James Jr. and Robert followed him to Harvard, while Kathryn attended Northwestern and City University of London, and Michael graduated from Vanderbilt.

He and Aloah worked to support many Democratic politicians and nonprofits to support immigrants, the working poor, the underserved and low income working mothers. They didn't have to be told the importance of this work, because they grew up in those communities. "I worked as hard as I could, and Aloah worked hard taking care of the family. She became an authority on how the system worked and showed others how to use the system. She did good works in the community for our family."

His beloved Aloah died a few weeks after his retirement. Dad's career took him around the world to places like Alaska, San Francisco and Italy. Much to the delight of Aloah who was an avid traveler-with or without Dad. He was very proud of supporting Mom's ambition to travel.

Dad loved litigating but was happy to retire as he didn't like where "the law was headed." He was a mentor and good friend to many attorneys in Tulsa and around the country and enjoyed his reputation. On most occasions out at dinner someone would approach Dad-a colleague, former client or courtroom opponent- wanting to be remembered to him, to tell a story about how Dad or Mom had counseled or helped them, and how they respected him, his intellect and his integrity-or how much they missed "Miss Aloah's coconut cream pie."

"I'm most proud of the fact that I came into a family of very modest means of five children and went to Harvard on a full ride. I changed the trajectory of our family because of education. My children and my grandchildren live comfortable lives and make real contributions to society. They all achieved wonderful educations and economic and philanthropic success. I am so very proud of my children and grandchildren. They are the joy of my life. I also had to marry well and I did." He will be truly missed.

Memorial Services will be held at Boston Avenue Methodist Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma. This obituary will be updated with service date and time.

Fitzgerald Ivy Chapel, 918-585-1151