Mary Jane Vitali

Mother of four, Grandmother of 5, devoted wife, Ball of Fire, Stirrer of the Pot (in the kitchen and otherwise), coach, friend, and self-proclaimed "Household Engineer." She loved people, tennis, plants, a good long chat or debate, and everything Italian, especially her husband Joe. Her early experiences fed her zest for life, her courageous heart, her adventurous spirit, and her perseverance and strength, as well as her ability to spark these same qualities in others who found themselves in her presence. Mary Jane Zink was born in St. Louis, Missouri on April 7, 1932, the second of 6 children, two of whom were twins who died in infancy. Life was difficult in her childhood. Her father, Carroll Zink, worked in a dairy and brought home stories of that busy, steamy place. He died when Mary Jane was 9, just as World War II was looming on the horizon. Her mother, Minnie, moved with her four children: Lee, Mary Jane, Shirley, and Virginia Rose, to Cuba, Missouri, where her brother's family lived. It was in Cuba High School that Mary Jane met the love of her life, Joseph D. Vitali, the son of Italian immigrants. Mary was active in everything that high school had to offer: yearbook staff, band, sports, cheerleading. She was an honor student who thoroughly enjoyed her friends and all of the social activities she could fit on her schedule. Mary Jane and Joe were High School sweethearts. They married two years out of high school, just months before he was drafted into the army and deployed to Korea to serve in the Korean Conflict. By that time, Mary was pregnant with their first child. She immersed herself in her new family's Italian culture and traditions, especially cooking. The Vitali's owned the local grocery store, had vineyards, and every weekend was a party, as aunts, uncles, and cousins made the trip from St. Louis to Fanning. Mary Jane delivered their first child and sent a congratulation letter to boot camp that stated "Joe, you're a father!". She worked in the store and was an emotional support to her in-laws throughout that tense and difficult time, as both of their twin sons were serving in the same artillery unit in Korea, and the family stateside never knew of their welfare from one day to the next. The happy day arrived when Joe returned from Korea, and the newlyweds resumed their family life and plans for the future. Mary Jane worked at the Brown Shoe Company while Joe was in engineering school at Rolla School of Mines. Without her drive and determination, they would have had a different life. The couple moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma on completion of his B.S. in Electrical Engineering. She took on new roles in the 1960s and 1970s as "household engineer", softball coach, Cub Scout den mother, and Girl Scout leader at St Pius X School. Later at Bishop Kelley she volunteered for nearly every school event and could be heard in the stands at sporting events, an avid fan. Mary loved sports and was a lifelong fan of her hometown baseball team, the St. Louis Cardinals. As a child, she lived just blocks away from Busch Stadium where she joined neighborhood kids snagging balls that were hit out of the park, a fun memory she shared often. Mary and Joe loved watching both the Cardinals & OKC Thunder. Mary was boisterous as she watched the games while Joe quietly watched & shrugged his shoulders with a grin. Not only did Mary watch, she played. She was an accomplished tennis player , in a women's and mixed doubles league for close to 30 years, into her 70's. Many she played with became lifelong friends. She also started a Thanksgiving family tradition to go out and play "friendly" tennis while the turkey was cooking. Mary could get the best of everyone, dropping shots wherever she wanted. And she was competitive! In the winter when the courts were frozen over, she played volleyball in a women's league. One of Mary's missions in life and something that gave her great joy was feeding people. Her favorite Italian word, "mangia" was heard in her kitchen again and again. All through her life she invited people, sometimes strangers, to large holiday dinners. She also delivered meals, distributed food at a pantry for needy people, and cooked at parish spaghetti dinners and funeral luncheons. If kids or grandkids were coming, her mind would go to what to feed them. Mary found joy in nourishing both hearts and bellies in her own special and spicy way. Mary was a talented and creative seamstress, having acquired her skills while working at The Brown Shoe Company in Cuba, Missouri while Joe was in college. Later she perfected her skills while sewing everything from suit jackets for Joe to prom dresses for her three daughters. She even sewed swimsuits for the girls. Mary also loved to garden, producing crops every summer. Family and friends enjoyed her tomatoes. She had a knack for growing just about anything (except zucchini squash) and loved to get her hands in the dirt to the very end, leaving a balcony at Montereau crowded with petunias, begonias, and herbs. As a tireless church and community volunteer, Mary contributed countless hours to the Catholic parishes the family belonged to (Sts. Peter and Paul, St, Pius X, St.Bernard's, and St. Clement's). She and Joe served on the Parish Council as sponsors & leaders, and as Eucharistic ministers among many other activities while at St. Pius. One of the things that gave both Mary & Joe such joy was volunteering at the Catholic Diocese Church camp each summer. She loved volunteering at Meals on Wheels, delivering to the home-bound for close to 20 years. The mostly elderly people she served were always happy to see her. That made her happy. Mary also found great joy volunteering at the neighborhood retirement home. She "adopted" ladies who had no local family and visited them each week, listening to their life stories, sharing laughter and tears. One day a resident stopped her in the hall and said "I voted for you!" Mary said "For what?", she said, "For Queen of Methodist Manor of course!" Mary didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Mary loved her final home at Montereau in Tulsa, and never ceased being a social butterfly, never meeting a stranger, despite her physical limitations and pain. She spoke affectionately of friends and neighbors, old and new, and participated in Montereau life as she was able. Joe passed away at their Montereau home on October 26, 2020. It was her way to soldier on but she missed him enormously, joining him after 9 months on July 31, 2021. She died during the night of natural causes. Joe and Mary had been married for 68 years. In her last months, Mary enjoyed her children and grandchildren immensely, soaking up the family love, with visits from her out of town daughters Elaine, Colorado Springs, and Kristi, Austin Texas. Nancy, her oldest, brought fresh garden vegetables and home cooked meals. Having her son Joe and his kids for brunch on Sunday, going to the park, having a Frosty at Wendy's, and popping in at the boutique where her youngest granddaughter works were highlights. And of course the FaceTime calls from those far and near were always entertaining and uplifting for her. On her last day, Mary Jane Vitali was happily watching the Olympics and eating her favorite lunch: tomato soup & grilled cheese, on her newly discovered TV tray. She chatted on the phone with her daughters Kristi and Nancy. Her children feel she was at peace with herself, her family, her friends, and life in her final days. Her zeal for life and her unrelenting spirit will be missed. The Vitali Family would like to express their sincere appreciation and gratitude for all who are friends of Mary Vitali. Your warm embrace and presence in her life gave her the strength to carry on these last year following Dad's passing. She spoke often of the love and support she received from friends and family. She was immensely grateful for the embrace of her community at Montereau, her long time and new friends. The Vitali family is touched, warmed and comforted by your presence in her and in our lives. So much love. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to Meals on Wheels of Metro Tulsa www.mealsonwheelstulsa.org . Or Community Foodbank of Eastern Oklahoma https://okfoodbank.org/

Mary Jane Vitali

April 7, 1932 - July 31, 2021