The last days were good ones: Riding the motorcycle in the hill country and eating barbecue and ice cream with friends on a Saturday. Watching NASCAR races and mowing the lawn on a Sunday. And then he was gone. Way too soon.
Thomas Matthew Neal, 61, died Oct. 9, 2016, suddenly and without warning.
Born in Tulsa and raised Catholic, Tom was the fifth of nine children, the third boy of four who always kept things interesting for their parents, James Hal Neal Jr. and Mary Alice Maguire Neal. Tom grew up in a bustling, loving household of tree forts and big family road trips in a station wagon that went all over the continent. For his brothers and sisters, growing up with Tom was an adventure. There were afternoons spent in the creek teaching his sisters to catch crawdads and "mud puppies", hard-way lessons on the importance of seat belts, and late nights pranking and evading the police.
He graduated from Nathan Hale High School and married Diannah McKinley in 1973. They "grew up together" and lived in Stillwater where their sons Brandon and Eric Neal graduated from high school. After a career as an automotive mechanic, Tom went back to School and took pride in both graduating and having attended school alongside both of his sons. Tom graduated with a BA in Business.
As a parent, "Dad" was patient and always there to cheer and support. He watched and shared in the boys' activities and interests, whatever they were up to. He quietly led, but never pushed. He was always in the audience or the sidelines, often behind the camera. Pride and dignity were safe with Dad. Lessons were learned by experience, and he was always waiting patiently, sometimes with a wry smile, for a lesson to be learned. And when you were ready to laugh about it, he was ready for that, too. Somehow, he managed to balance being both friend and parent to his boys.
He moved to Laredo, Texas, and married Roxana Garza and found his place in a new culture. He earned his Master's Degree in education from Texas A&M International University and began a new career as an educator. He and Roxana were fixtures in the local Harley Owners Group, and his enthusiasm for careful precision and learning new skills and was legendary among the Laredo Rifle and Pistol Club members.

Tom loved his routines. He could be reached any morning by cell phone on his morning walk at Lake Casablanca. He was a fixture at the HOG breakfast ride (extra syrup, please!). Sundays were spent watching NASCAR and mowing the lawn. He was known for gently drawing out a smile when someone really needed it, and at a gathering, he was the guy in the center of the room, telling and listening to stories.

An email from Tom would either be an NSFW joke, a request for birthday gift ideas (cheap and easy to mail, please), or a photo of a large dead fish. A call would be as long as you had time for plus 10 minutes. And a visit would always include a beer, some one-on-one time, and maximum time playing with kids, especially the grandkids. He would travel long times and distances, often driving through the night to spend a couple of half days with you.

He was always surprised by his aches and pains. He was still a kid in his mind, but his body struggled sometimes to keep up with his ambitions.

His passing leaves a gaping hole in the futures of his family and friends, who were counting on him to be Dad, husband, brother, and friend, to still be there in the audience, to teach the grandkids to fish and shoot, to share a motorcycle ride, or to spend a quiet evening on the porch.

Tom is survived by his wife, Roxana; his sons and daughters-in-law, Brandon and Krista Neal of Stillwater, OK and Eric and Heather Neal of Helena, MT; his siblings Mary Alice Eggleston, Coeur D'Alene, ID; Barbara Praesetyo, New York City, NY; Martha Duck Wheeler, Broken Arrow, OK; Lisa Moody, Tulsa, OK; Katherine Neal, Chino, CA; Patrick Neal, Tulsa, OK; James Hal Neal III of Texas; and Michael Neal of Arkansas; and his five grandchildren Cora, Elizabeth, Kaich, Wyatt, and Zoe.

The funeral will be on Saturday at 9 a.m. at Fitzgerald Southwood Colonial Chapel, 3612 E. 91st. St. South, Tulsa, OK, 918-291-3500.